Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Moth Bollock Orus

There's a TV newsreader that arouses mirth or complete bafflement in me whenever I see them. The mirth is because this person's diction is so bad that the news reports often end up unintentionally hilarious. The bafflement is that anyone would employ a person who speaks so badly to read the news!

This person has a speech impediment like Jonathan Ross, but that's not all. It's coupled with a tendency to gabble incoherently for a few words at a time, so that the content is reduced to gibberish. Any news story is now impossible to follow because I'm listening for the next bit of 'Stanley Unwin'.

Anyway, this person usually pronounces "Yesterday" as "Yisterday", something I've never heard in any regional accent. I choked on my cereal a few months ago when a story about the Nissan Ka somehow came out as "the Nissan fuckaa". More recently, we had a sentence apparently about the "decisiona moth bollock orus-plant" - which turned out to be the tragic and depressing story of the Corus plant on Teesside shutting down. The person may be a perfectly good journalist but they are definitely not cut out for reading the news. If they were a member of the local amateur dramatic society I used to belong to (the Progressive Players in Gateshead) I would expect directors to say "X has got the looks, but isn't a good actor" . Unfortunately, we're talking here about a supposed professional. A newsreader with Tourettes? Quite a novelty...

I'm trying to be kind here by not identifying this person in any way. However, if anyone reading this knows who I mean, please message me privately and let me know if you agree!

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